The Cougar Lesbian: Similarities and the Differences

Samantha Elise Oscar By Samantha Elise Oscar  – February 20, 2018
The Cougar Lesbian: Similarities and the Differences

If you are an older woman or a lesbian, online dating might feel even harder. But there’s good news if you’re a lesbian, cougar, cougar lesbian, or lesbian cougar! There are some amazing niche dating communities for cougar dating and lesbian dating. While these two types of dating can be very different, there are some ways cougar dating and lesbian dating overlap. In this article, we’ll be looking at the similarities and the differences between cougar dating and lesbian dating.

The Cougar Lesbian Similarities:

If you’re new to this whole online dating thing, you might be wondering, “what is a cougar?” We’d define a cougar as a mature, confident, older woman who likes to date younger, energetic partners. Many cougars look for younger dates as a confidence boost to their already bold and self-assured personalities and they usually have plenty of wisdom and experience to share with their less mature partners. Some cougars date younger men and some cougars prefer younger women. So, there’s one-way cougar dating and lesbian dating overlap: some cougars are lesbians.

Something New

In some cases, too, both cougars and lesbians will approach online dating with a desire to shake up their pasts and try something completely new. Perhaps an older woman is newly divorced and wants to try a relationship very different from her marriage. Maybe a woman who has always wanted to date women but has historically dated men is finally ready to follow her heart. In both instances, these women want to explore uncharted territories in their love lives.

Nurture Me

It also seems that in cougar dating and lesbian dating, there is a strong emphasis on or desire for nurturing. A cougar may wish to share her experience, perspective, and lifestyle with her younger partners. In the same way, many lesbian relationships are deeply nurturing and emotionally balanced. Women are naturally more nurturing, emotionally adept, and sensitive than men. Women interested in dating other women tend to crave the kind of emotional care and attention that another woman naturally brings to the table.

The Cougar Lesbian Differences:

While there are some similarities between these two types of relationships, there are also plenty of differences. The biggest difference from our perspective is the emphasis on sex and physical intimacy: most cougars crave the physical attention and energy of younger partners as the primary requirement of their lovers, while most lesbian partnerships privilege emotional connection over physical compatibility. Of course, we know that this is a sweeping statement and exceptions exist, but from what we have seen, this seems to hold true in general.

Physical vs. Emotional

If you’re an older woman who has been married for many years and suddenly finding yourself single, you may want a new emotional relationship right away. But in many cases, what the recent divorcee desires at this point in time is a purely physical relationship. It’s good news in a lot of ways for her younger partners because they don’t have to meet her in terms of emotional maturity. This tends to even the playing field for cougars and cubs in a way that can fulfill primary desires. Not all cougar relationships are the same, but a large percentage of them put physical connection first.

Lesbian dating tends to be very different since most lesbian partnerships privilege other types of compatibility above sexual compatibility. Many lesbian women are looking to share the whole of human experience with a single partner who can fulfill her mind, body, soul, and spirit. The sex comes as an added bonus to the relationship but is usually not its primary basis.


Lesbians and cougars share some common ground when it comes to their dating patterns. But they seem to differ significantly when it comes to the primacy of sex and physical connection. In general, cougars tend to place greater importance on sex. And, generally speaking, lesbian partnerships are grounded in emotional intimacy more than physical intimacy. If you’re a lesbian cougar or cougar lesbian, you might have a unique experience when it comes to the importance of physical intimacy in your relationships. Check out Cougar Life and Ashley Madison now if you haven’t already.


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Samantha Elise Oscar
Samantha Elise Oscar
Author, Dating Expert Extraordinare
At DatingPerfect, we’re lucky to have Samantha as a regular contributor and key researcher. A dating expert at her core, Samantha’s knowledge of the dating space spans many provocative topics, from marriage tips to sugar dating how-to’s. Samantha has her finger on the online dating pulse and keeps us plugged in to dating’s newest trends, most surprising twists, and biggest stories. Is there a topic you’d love to see Samantha cover? Please contact us if you have an idea for a future story and we’ll get Samantha on it. Thanks for reading!
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